Sunday, July 29, 2012

You are my sunset.
Daily surrounded by it's warmth
but never able to ignore
the growing anticipation
of the darkness of the night.

You are my sunrise
Rays of unwelcome sunlight
sneak through the curtains of my heart
to blind me every instant
with unfaltering sensation.

Every beam of you
breaks through stormy clouds
While the sweltering heat of you
scorches my heart as it melts...

And I am left there, glistening as my sun sets.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

"I do not know why a man should be ashamed of knowing the truth because somebody else does not know it." George Albert Smith

Sometimes I get in trouble for having a "big mouth". And what I mean by big mouth is that I open it and words come out before I take the time to think through what I am saying and make sure that it is not offensive in the slightest to anyone in the room.

I really admire people who are skilled at thinking before they speak. Those people that don't say much, but when they do it's always worth listening to. Those people are my heroes.

I am not one of those people. I am the person that says what everyone else is thinking but nobody else is dumb enough to say. Today my dad said I'm Luna Lovegood.

Thanks, Dad.

Here's the thing - I can't figure out why everyone seems to be afraid of the truth. Truth is well.. truth. And nothing to be ashamed of. Even if the truth is that you are terrible at bowling, or you get scared when the lights go out at the movie theater, or sometimes you cry, or you try really hard to be different and sometimes it comes across as tacky, or you feel crappy because life never seems to go your way, or you hurt because somebody cheated on you. I don't care what the truth about you is, I'll love you anyway. I would just much rather know the truth about you than have you put on some show and try to make me believe that you are something that you're not.

And that goes both ways. I'd rather people know the ugly truth about me and love me for who I am than have to waste all kinds of energy portraying what I think people want me to be just to have them appreciate me for something that I'm not. Wow, that was a sentence. But really. I'd rather be disliked for something that I am than something that I'm not.

Problem is, not everybody seems to feel the way that I do about this. Which means that I need to be respectful of other people's wishes and personalities and comfort zones and try not to have such a big mouth all the time. And try not to force the ugly truth on everyone all the time. Some people would rather gloss over it. And that's just easier for them. I can respect that.

But then why am I the one that gets accused of living in a fantasty land of faith?

Faith is truth. Faith is REAL power. That's no fantasy. The illusions we create every day by not being true to ourselves and subsequently to each other are exactly why we need faith. We need faith in the Holy Spirit and in the Savior to bring us clarity of mind so that we can see life as it is, instead of waltzing through life by mere "seeming." Because like Marie K. Hafen said "Mere seeming thwarts our develoment." That's a much better speech than the one I'm rambling off. If you want you can read it here:

Anywho. Sorry for the lack of eloquence in the post relative to previous posts. But not really that sorry. Because we all know I write this blog selfishly and not for a real audience anyway.

The end.

Monday, July 2, 2012


Experience has a way of opening your mind, and you feel smarter for a brief moment. But really what happened is the world just got bigger, so in reality you are even smaller than you were before.

But you still are.