I love missionaries. I write letters to them occasionally.
I have a testimony of missionary work and the importance of it.
I'm in love with a missionary in Brazil.
The above statements are the facts of the case, and they are undisputed.
They are, in fact, true statements.
However, some LDS culture surrounding missionaries and the work they do baffles and even irritates me.
True: I am in love with a missionary in Brazil.
False: I am "waiting" for him to return in the hopes that we will one day be married.
"Waiting" for missionaries. Oh freaking brother.
First of all, girls, you shouldn't be steady-dating a guy before his mission anyway. He's got better things to do with his time. Guys, before your mission you need to stay far away from any relationship that threatens to turn you into a whipped mess. You have better things to do with your time, more eternally significant things to prepare for, more important spiritual matters that need to be the focus of your thoughts.
If you haven't been steady dating, that completely eliminates the need to "wait" in the first place. Problem solved.
Secondly, if you do happen to meet your future spouse in high school (Hey, I'm a believer now alright? I'm in love remember?), Heavenly Father knows it, and he'll make sure everything works out between you and said lover. It's not your job to question His intentions. He's omnipotent, all-knowing, all that jazz. Your job is to trust Him and live your life in such a way that manifests that trust.
Girls, "waiting" for a missionary is not trusting in God. I'm not saying you have to go out and throw yourself into the arms of the next guy that comes along. But just BE REAL with yourself.
Only 7% of girls who decide to "wait" actually make it the full two years, for whatever reason. You must be willing to accept the idea that the relationship may not work. Just as importantly, only 3% of girls who plan on waiting for their missionary actually marry him.
I'm not saying you can't hope that you'll end up with this preemie who seems to be the man of your dreams--Ive hoped every day for the past 6 months--just know that you need to BE REAL with yourself. You are not the exception to the rule just because you decide to be. You can't make things happen that the Lord (all-knowing, omnipotent, all-powerful..) doesn't have planned for you. It may not work out. Deal with it.
On the plus side, if it doesn't work out, Heavenly Father has someone even better for you in the works. Isn't that an exciting prospect? It seems impossible that there could be someone better right? But you'll never beat the Lord in a game of Jeopardy. He's the one who put all that knowledge in Albert Einstein's brain. He knows what's out there. Don't trick yourself into believing that you know more than He does.
True: I have a testimony of missionary work and the importance of it.
False: I tell evey non-member I meet that they are damned to hell.
No sir. I don't hand them a copy of the Book of Mormon either.
Talk to them about the church and my testimony of it daily? You betcha.
The key to having non-member friends is The Golden Rule.
"Treat others as you would like to be treated."
Ever heard of it?
If you want someone to accept your religious beliefs, you must first acknowledge and accept their religious beliefs. I have non-member friends that I bear my testimony to every day. Why do they tolerate such bold behavior? Because I don't ask them to agree, just to listen. I don't insist that I'm right, because to do so would be to insist that their beliefs are wrong. It's not my job to tell them that they're wrong. That's the Holy Ghost's job. Are you the Holy Ghost? I don't think so. So stop trying to get paid for his work.
End of current rant.
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3 comments:
I agree. :) Why deny yourself the chance of meeting somebody else that would maybe be a more suitable eternal spouse? Why decide now, as you are barely getting out of high school and before he goes and has a life-changing experience, who you are going to marry? Even if you say you are going to date around, if you are "waiting" for a missionary, you are going to feel disloyal if you fall in love with somebody else and may not give that person a fair chance. Sure, you can say you won't get married until he gets back, and then give him a chance again when he gets home...but don't "wait" for him.
Also! I almost forgot..from the guy's perspective...give the guy a chance to maybe date around when he gets back..maybe he's changed and you've changed and it's not going to work out. Like I said before, the guy will just be getting out of high school when he leaves. I am just getting out of high school, and I don't think anybody my age really knows who they want to marry. I don't care if they think they do, they don't know for sure yet.
It's definitely going to suck when you've waited two years for a relationship that's not going to happen.
Amen amen and amen!
Oh, Tori. I love this so much. Just like you said, I understand not getting married and giving them a chance when they get home, but I've never understood 'waiting'. Save the guy the almost inevitable heartbreak and don't make a promise you can't guarantee to keep.
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